


Five Times Felix Lied About His Shirt And One Time He Didn't

by steampunkcircus



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Chloe is a jerk, F/M, felix has exactly one weakness, of sex that didn't actually happen, ridiculous references to historic scientists, sex mention, stolen clothes, that he admits to himself anyway, unfair teacher being a jerk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-15 21:12:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14798060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steampunkcircus/pseuds/steampunkcircus
Summary: Felix spends the day answering stupid questions like "Where is your shirt?" He's not willing to tell the full story, even to the only person who knows where his shirt ended up.





	Five Times Felix Lied About His Shirt And One Time He Didn't

**Gabriel**

“Felix, your father wishes to see you.”

As he had been expecting. Felix closed his textbook and followed Nathalie to his father's office.

“Shut the door, Felix,” Gabriel said. He didn't look up from the contract he was annotating with a red pen. Felix sat across from him and pulled out his phone to text Allan while he waited for his father's attention.

“What are you doing?” Gabriel asked, a bite to his voice when he noticed the phone in his son's hands.

“Texting. It's quite useful. I could teach you, if you want.”

“When I call you to my office, you are not to use your phone. You are aware of the rules. Act like it.”

“Simply making good use of my time while I wait.”

Oh, Felix knew that calling out his father's little game would push just the right buttons. Calling him to the office, making him drop everything to show up at Gabriel's whim and then making him wait to show who had the power? Obvious and easily used to Felix's advantage. He watched his father's internal struggle to withhold the lecture on respect and focus on the reason he had called his son in the first place. The more Felix distracted him, the less likely the real story was to come out.

“Felix, why did I get a call from your chemistry teacher informing me that you were not appropriately dressed for class, much less for basic lab safety?”

“Because my teacher is biased,” Felix said. “Chloe Bourgeois and I were dressed similarly, but the teacher's perception of gendered clothing made her unable to recognize that if Chloe was dressed enough for lab, so was I.”

“I don't care what miss Bourgeois was wearing,” Gabriel said. “I care that you represent this family, and when you are at school-”

“Really? Because she was wearing a plum purple halter top with lime green Capri pants and close toed wedge sandals.”

There we go. The twitching of Gabriel's left eyelid. He almost had him.

“And she cuffed the capris to hit the widest part of her calf.”

Gabriel pinched the bridge of his nose, took a deep breath, and started ranting. Fashion designers were so easy to derail.

/*****/

**Nathalie (two hours earlier)**

Felix had, out of habit, grabbed the mail from the box on his way inside after school. He also, out of habit, went to Nathalie to drop off said mail. Despite how cold he was, it didn't occur to him that perhaps Nathalie would notice and comment on his appearance until he saw her quizzical look at him.

“Have a nice day, Nathalie,” Felix said, turning to leave the office.

“Felix, where is your shirt?”

He hadn't prepared an answer, so he raced to invent a few. He wasn't good at improv. He chose the excuse that would come with the lowest chance of follow up questions and ignored the blaze of embarrassment crawling under his skin.

“I must have left it behind after having sex under the bleachers.”

He really needed to stop watching bad American teen movies.

Nathalie blinked at him.

“Your school doesn't have bleachers.”

“Who said I was at my school?”

She blinked again. Felix could feel the blush spreading, and cursed it for undermining his lie. Nathalie eyed him a moment longer, looked like she was going to say something, then shook her head and returned to her work.

“Get started on your homework,” she said.

Felix was almost out the door before she managed to add, “Please be sure to add condoms to the shopping list if you need them.”

Nathalie had definitely won that round, even if he hadn’t had to tell her the truth.

In his room Felix took off his vest and tie and pulled on a sweater. He started his homework before realizing he could have just said that his shirt had been torn or stained. That would have made more sense than his ridiculous lie. He hated that feeling of finding the right thing to say too late.

/*****/

**Mrs. Mendeleiev (three hours earlier)**

“Mr. Agreste.”

He wasn’t even fully in the classroom. She was out to get him, and no one could convince him otherwise.

“Yes, Mrs. Rutherford?”

So maybe he antagonized her. Just a little.

“You will call me by my name, I won’t remind you again. Why aren’t you dressed for chemistry lab?”

Felix looked down at his outfit. He looked at the rest of the class. As he had hoped, Chloe was the perfect example for the point he was about to make.

“The instructions for lab state the presence of a shirt, long pants, and closed-toed shoes. More fabric covers my torso than does Chloe’s. Is her outfit not appropriate for lab either?”

“Are you going to let him speak about me like that?” Chloe asked, head snapping up from her phone to glare at Felix. She went unanswered.

“Felix, you aren’t wearing a shirt.” She said it like he didn’t know. Like he could somehow be unaware of his own clothes.

“My chest is mostly covered. Chloe’s entire back is exposed.”

“Uh, I’m not doing chemistry behind myself, Felix,” Chloe said, crossing her arms. Felix and Mrs. Mendeleiev continued to ignore her.

“A vest isn’t a shirt. Go change.”

“I don’t have anything to change into, and I shouldn’t have to. I have the same amount of clothing protecting me as Chloe. More, even. She’s wearing short pants and mine are normal length.”

“He’s the son of a fashion designer and doesn’t know that this length is called capris!” Chloe had at least gained the sense to turn and rant at Sabrina, who paid attention to her.

“This isn’t about Ms. Bourgeois, this is about you following my instructions,” Mrs. Mendeleiev said, crossing her arms. “This lab is worth ten percent of your grade for this semester, so you had better go find yourself a shirt, or I’m banning you from my classroom and giving you a zero.”

Allan stripped off his hoodie and held it out to Felix. He was ignored.

“If Chloe gets to stay then I should, too,” Felix said. “There’s no reason to get dramatic about it.”

“I’m calling your father after class to let him know about your attitude and refusal to follow basic instructions,” Mrs. Mendeleiev said. “This is your last chance. Go find a shirt or fail and get no higher than a B in this class.”

“Your math is incorrect Mrs. Bohr- I mean Mendeleiev,” Felix said. “Even with a zero in this lab, I’ll still have an A because I haven’t gotten a question wrong all semester. Unless you don’t have to follow the rules of your syllabus, either?”

“Dude, just take my hoodie,” Allan said, grabbing Felix’s arm and yanking his jacket up to his shoulder. Felix tried to shrug it off, but Allan had a will of iron. Despite protests and a complete lack of cooperation, a minute later Allan was zipping his hoodie up to cover Felix’s lack of shirt.

“There, he’s wearing a shirt, can we start lab now?” Allan asked, flopping into his chair.

“I don’t think that hoodie is dress code appropriate for-”

“It was fine on Allan two minutes ago!”

/*****/

**Allan (five minutes earlier)**

Allan looked up from his phone to see Felix approaching. He was wearing a tie, vest, dress pants, shiny shoes, and no shirt. On closer inspection, no belt, either.

“Dude, where is your shirt?”

Felix shrugged. “Chloe.”

“Chloe has your shirt?"

“No, but it’s her fault.” They started walking towards class. Allan was pretty sure that Felix had just come from gym class. Maybe something happened to his shirt in the locker room? But why wear his vest and tie? Why not go find something in the lost and found?

“What does that mean?” Allan asked.

“Doesn’t matter. Just remind me to make Chloe suffer later.”

“Oh, man, has Bridgette seen you yet? She might pass out. You are officially a health hazard right now,” Allan said. He jogged a few steps ahead and turned to face Felix, snapping a picture on his phone.

“I already saw her. She didn’t pass out. I'll make sure that you will though if you send her that picture,” Felix said, making a swipe at the phone in Allan’s hands. He missed by a centimeter.

“I’m saving this for blackmail purposes,” Allan said, fiddling with his phone. He stopped a few feet short of the classroom door. “Do you want my hoodie? You know Mendeleiev is gonna have a problem with this.” He gestured to Felix’s lack of attire.

“I’ve seen Chloe and Sabrina wear crop tops and sandals while working with high molarity acids. If she has a problem with this-” he gestured to himself, “then it proves the bias I’ve told everyone she has against me.”

“I’ve been in class with you all year, my bro, she definitely hates you.”

/*****/

**Bridgette (fifteen minutes earlier)**

Felix Agreste had one weakness, and it didn't come up often in his home. He could never stand by and do nothing when he heard or saw someone trying to hide that they were crying.

He exited the boy’s locker room after gym class, the last one to exit because he insisted on reapplying his hair products after showering. Otherwise he ended up with unruly Chat Noir hair. He still had a few minutes, so he didn’t need to rush. He would have walked past the girl’s locker room like any other day had the door not been stuck open an bit, allowing sound to pass through. Had he not heard a choked-off sob, quickly followed by a muffled one, he could have gone on none the wiser and spent the rest of the day without stupid questions and weird looks.

It didn’t even matter that he immediately recognized the voice as Bridgette’s. Without thinking, he found himself knocking on the bathroom door.

“Are you okay?” he called.

He heard a quick gasp and another muffled sob.

“Bridgette, are you alone in there? Do you want me to get Allegra or Rose or someone? Ms. Bustier maybe?”

“No, it’s- I’m fine,” she said. Her voice, thick and trembling, did not agree with her words.

"It's not _fine_ if you're crying, Bridgette." He rolled his eyes. "I'm coming in, I'll keep my hand over my eyes."

“No!”

He stepped in the room with his eyes shut and hand over his eyes anyway. He obviously still couldn’t see her, but not having the door in the way made a difference in how well he could hear her. Her breathing was shaky and her feet made small, wet slapping sounds on the floor as she seemed to back away from him.

"Just tell me what's wrong already, Bridgette."

“Felix, you’re in the girl’s locker room.”

“I’m aware of that. You’re crying.”

“No I’m not.”

“You were.”

“So? I’m not allowed to cry now?”

“I’d rather if you weren’t.” He froze. He didn’t want to lead her on, but it was true, he didn’t want her- or anyone- crying. Especially if they hid away when they did, instead of turning to someone for support. “Isolating yourself won’t help anything.”

“I kinda have no choice there,” she said. He heard her sit on the bench he assumed ran down the middle of the room like it did in the boy’s room. “Chloe stole my clothes. Even my gym clothes. I have nothing but a towel. I’m stuck here, and I have a literature test next class.”

"What? Why would she do that? Why weren't you keeping track of your clothes?"

She started to sniffle again. "I was showering Felix, I couldn't see outside the curtain! I feel stupid enough already."

"I'm sorry," he said. "You're right. I can get Allegra, maybe she has something you can borrow?”

“Even if she did, I’m, ah, not as small as her.”

“You’re a whole head shorter,” Felix said. Bridgette was tiny. He had more than once compared her to a little Energizer Bunny with stalker tendencies.

“She’s skinnier.”

“Okay. I can go to the lost and found and bring something back for you.” he turned towards the door, removing his hand and opening his eyes to see where the handle was. His hand closed around it when he felt Bridgette grab his arm.

“Don’t go, please,” she said. “I’m terrified that Chloe will come back and take pictures of me or something.”

“I can’t exactly stay in the girl’s locker room with you,” he said. Her hand was so small. She was incredibly short. Looking down at her fingers on his black button down, an idea came into his head. He refused to question where it came from. “What if I gave you my shirt?”

“What?” Her hand withdrew.

“Would my shirt be long enough for you to leave the locker room and get to the nurse’s office or lost and found and get something to wear?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “You’re very tall. Maybe?”

He nodded and held his bag out behind him to Bridgette. She took it and he started unbuttoning. He shrugged off his shirt and held it behind himself. He felt it tugged from his hands. He pulled his vest back on, not liking the feeling of being bare chested in the girls’ locker room.

“I look ridiculous,” Bridgette said.

“So do I,” Felix said. “Can I turn around?”

“Yeah.”

Felix told himself that the reason his eyes went right to where his shirt ended and her thighs were first visible was because he was helping her determine if she could walk out of the room like this. Felix told himself that his heart clenching as she rolled up the sleeves was because she would wrinkle them. Definitely nothing to do with how small her hands were against _his_ shirt. Then he saw her red-rimmed eyes. She looked like a kicked puppy and he couldn't even be grateful she wasn't staring at his skin he had exposed because he just wanted to pull her into his side and pet her hair and distract her with a movie and ice cream until she didn't look like that any more.

"I think it's long enough," she said, glancing into a mirror to see how far down the back of the shirt went. "Will you walk with me to the office?"

"Need me to tear Chloe apart if we meet her on the way?" he asked, picking up his bag and reaching to open the door for her.

"I feel safer with you," she said, ducking her head behind her curtain of wet hair.

"That's a 'yes'," he said. It was a quick walk to the office where they found-

"We just took everything from the lost and found to a homeless shelter last Friday. There's a pair of gym shorts but I think that's it," the secretary told Bridgette.

Bridgette looked at Felix. Felix shrugged and gestured towards the shorts. "At least see if they fit."

She ducked into an empty inner office and pulled the shiny grey shorts on. they came down a few inches below the shirt, and she looked more comfortable.

"I guess I can't give you your shirt back just yet," Bridgette said as the secretary shooed them from the room.

Felix looked at the interesting ensemble. She didn't even have shoes. He knew she was interested in fashion. This must be killing her.

"The finishing touch," Felix said, holding up a finger to indicate she should wait. He undid his belt and handed it over to her. She took it automatically and then stared at the item in her hand like she had never seen a belt before.

"Define your waist, Bridgette," Felix said, rolling his eyes. "I thought you were interested in fashion things. My mistake."

She followed his instructions and looked down at her outfit. She smiled a little and looked up at Felix. "Well?"

Felix nodded. “Ignoring how ugly those shorts are and that using the belt shows more of them, I'd call that an improvement.” He glanced at his watch. "I have lab. Good luck finding shoes." He nodded and headed towards class.

"Felix?" Bridgette called after him.

"Yes?" He stopped turned to her.

"Why did you do this?" she asked.

"It's not a big deal," he said with a shrug.

"But, why?"

"Why not?"

/*****/

**(Two days later)**

"Ah, Felix?"

Felix tensed at Bridgette's voice before turning to face her.

"Yes?" he asked. She was holding things behind her back and she looked nervous. _I swear, if this is another elaborate gift and love confession ..._ He let that thought trail off, because there wasn't much he _could_ do if that was true.

"I wanted to thank you for loaning me your shirt," she said. She produced an envelope with what looked like quite a few pages within it and held it out. There were hearts doodled all over the front surrounding his name in flowing script.

Felix reached his hand out for the envelope. He flipped it over. There were stickers holding the seal closed. The stickers were hearts, too. Clearly a love letter. Reading it would only piss him off. Tearing it up would only upset her.

"Let's not ruin this," he said, handing the letter back.

She took it, surprisingly enough.

"That's fair," she said. She held out his shirt next, covered in dry cleaning plastic. "I had it cleaned, that's why it took me until now to get this back to you. Thank you, Felix. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come along."

He held the shirt for a moment before handing it to Bridgette, too.

"Keep it," he said. He shrugged his bag over his shoulder and pulled out the book he was reading. "It looked good on you."

He walked away before he could see her expression resolve from stunned incredulity. But he wasn't out of earshot yet when Bridgette squealed in delight.

**Author's Note:**

> Someone wrote a short fic about Chloe stealing Marinette’s clothes and Adrien loaning her his shirt and Alya loaning her a pair of jeans. I loved it. It inspired this. I can’t find it again. I’ve been through every scrap of history on Ao3 and Tumblr and I CAN’T FIND IT. If you know what I’m talking about, please let me know so I can give them credit.  
> Edit: WOW I didn't even think to link to my tumblr until a day later. Talk to me over at [cheeseeatingtrashmonster.tumblr.com](https://cheeseeatingtrashmonster.tumblr.com/) if you like :)  
> Edit 2: THE FIC HAS BEEN FOUND! The wonderful [watsdisshiz](https://whatsdisshiz.tumblr.com/) found it and showed me. The fic is [HERE!](https://universeenthusiast.tumblr.com/post/173766878268/alya-marinettes-voice-sounded-quiet-and) It's great, I love it, you'll love it, go read it! It's by [universeenthusiast](https://universeenthusiast.tumblr.com/) who is wonderful and writes great things all the time. Thanks, universeenthusiast!


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